Second Anniversary and new things update!

So as much as I would love to be an awesome blog writer i'm hardly even close lol I wanted to post some updates though for friends and family that live further away and who we've had a hard time keeping in contact with.

In the past two-four weeks a lot has happened!

Mike pushed through some of his harder classes, algorithms & data structures, and Discrete math. He's super happy the first block of the summer is done and the second half is just about done! He has officially gone to school year round no breaks now! super crazy but it's been worth it! He definitely loves to learn! next semester is calculus for him and it just gets crazier from there!

change weekend to semester lol...

I gave my two weeks notice at the Developmental center and have started my new position with ASEA as a Dutch speaking customer service agent and it pays 2 dollars more an hour than what I was earning, and i'll have holidays and weekends off. After 6-12 weeks i'll be able to work from home :), so it will be a better income, save us a ton of gas, and start opening some more opportunities for us. My goal to start working from home is the end of September. Hopefully I can hit that :) I definitely love the family like atmosphere at work, today was a blast working there, you are kept so busy that time just flies by!

For our 2nd anniversary we went down to St. George. We were headed for a day up in ZIONS to go swim in the swimming holes, when we saw a sign for a yard-sale- and we ended up taking a pit-stop, and buying a motorcycle... haha..It wasn't as spontaneous as it sounds.. okay maybe it was but we were already considering it since we've needed a better way for mike to get around. So it came at a good time! My favorite part about it is that it doesn't go as fast as other bikes! So maybe a little bit safer? I love it though, I think its such a pretty classic looking thing. :) Mike taught me how to ride it and I'm pretty sure i'm gonna need a license for it too. Riding on the back was terrifyingly fun though. :) That weekend we saw all the church sites down there, Brigham young's summer house, the temple visitor center, and the stake center. It was pretty awesome! We also went and saw the minions movie for fun. It was pretty suiting for how tired we were. For the rest we hung out in my parents empty house, with the add on and their new huge bathtub-- it was pretty great! :) I love that house! that was the second time we have visited there ever it felt like a vacation house, it was a really nice weekend! we definitely needed it :) we left the motorcycle there in the Garage until mike could go get it with his friend.

I've also started to donate plasma with Mike, it's not as bad as my mind made it up to be. The needle isn't that bad! I did faint last time, but I did get some free t-shirts and some power aids. almost a good trade :)



Today was Michael's 27th Birthday! We've been so excited! :) (or at least I have been, he has been secretly pleased, probably not as hyper as I have been about it. but he's had fun lol) He's been flying his new quadcopter for hours, in his new shoes lol. He's getting pretty good at it! it goes super high it's pretty awesome!! The cat hates it, and mike loves that the cat hates it lol...


I think that's the only updates we have for now!

Seriously.

It’s been a long time since I've posted a blog. Especially knowing others are likely to read it.

Lately there has been a lot on my mind, I feel like it’s important for me to get it out in order to keep moving on. This post isn't looking for criticism, or to offend anyone. It’s also not asking for any argumentative advice or opinions with what I have to say as it holds a lot of personal thought and feeling. Basically be a friend. be kind.

Between full time work, full time school, church responsibilities, personal responsibilities and getting the hang of the whole marriage thing, I've / we've been feeling overwhelmed.

I know we have things really great right now, we have insurance from a good job, we’re able to afford to both go to school, and we have time to spend together. Which I know is pretty rare for those struggling to find even one date night in the month or year with their spouse.

There are a lot of people who when I have anything to say about my life, give a whole two servings of ‘’wait until you have kids’’ on a ‘suck it up’ platter.  But to think that life is without hardships without kids is completely naive. I understand it makes it more difficult but it definitely doesn't throw those who have kids off the ‘you have it good’ spectrum.

We gone into this year with a healthy amount of hope and goals which surprisingly enough hasn't been as damaged as you’d think with everything that has happened the past few months.

Since the year started there has been a lot of heartache, anger, and doubt. it seems silly while these things don’t deserve detail or elaboration. Anger is something that I never expected to be has hard to battle as this is. 

I never realized anger was so hard to overcome. And how much of a motivation/spirit killer it is!

The quote ‘’Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured’’ mark twain. I can seriously say this is true. It does nothing but destroy.

 School along with work I often feel like just quitting. Especially with the feelings in the mix it has made the load three times as hard. getting up for work every day, and getting homework done seems to have become pretty rough requirements because of the feelings infecting it. Having had no school since the 8th grade adds to the stress of trying to ace every class.. I never anticipated to have gotten as far as I am though. (Regardless of the Math homework eating my soul from the inside out. I am pretty proud of myself.)I feel that I've let go of a lot of the anger I've held from feeling so behind. I owe most of this Mike who is constantly encouraging me and pointing out my successes. He is always taking time out to help me when he is busy himself. He has definitely tried and succeeded to help me see myself in a different light regarding education.

Though things at work are great and I have a lot to be grateful for, awesome coworkers, amazing boss who will do anything to help out. Fantastic insurance. I can’t help but wonder if it’s okay to be angry because of the feeling/worry that i’ll be stuck there. forever. which logically is not true however when you see people there on a daily basis who are on their 40th year there..it sort of seems inevitable.

I can’t help but wonder why I feel this constant need to keep moving on to the next steps in our life. Finding a different apartment, possibly buying a house, I’m constantly looking into new things. (In fact we now have a cat! Small example, but still an example of what i’m trying to describe.) Knowing this is a weakness for me, the constant itch to do something new, travel, whatever it is. Am I attempting to run from feeling like crap? Kind of disgusts me at the moment because it's malcontent of me while we are being so blessed with what we have. Is it normal to be angry at yourself? I’m angry perhaps ashamed too at how I feel. I definitely don't like thinking I might hurt mike letting him see this weakness in me, always looking for something new, appearing to hardly be grateful for what we have. Making him feel like he's not doing enough while he is really just being all fantastic!

Is it normal to be angry at the lack of spiritual progression I've made since my mission? I can’t help but hope that this is just some false perception I have. Because I know the work it took me on a mission to really have the Lord involved in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I honestly still have the energy to get that back and keep it up. and the paranoia kicks in of how will it be when we have kids and we need to raise them. I want to. but I feel so disorganized.

This post is a bit scatterbrained but honest though.. I don’t really know what i’m expecting by posting it. Possibly just to clear my thoughts in order to scratch the surface again and climb on out of this funk.

I feel like any goals I have that I know would make things better end up like this:

All of these things are open ended questions. And looking at it now I don’t think they need or necessarily deserve an answer.

So here it is, by writing this is to let it all go and start anew with some personal encouragement I guess.

If I have problems spiritually, the solution- pray and fix it.

If I am tired- change it physically. Get the rest, exercise and nutrition I need.

If I’m angry well,.. lets hope the first two will fix it. …?

This is the part where you can give opinions, how can I find the balance in all of this? any ideas or solutions regarding the balance is welcome.

Next semesters I think will be a no math for me and do all my math at the end of my studies. the other classes are such cake. it’ll be so easy to do online until mike graduates. This is my solution to the school burdening part. any other ideas are welcome as long as its friendly and supportive. seriously not in the mood for downers.

We've Made it Through our First year!

It's been one year and one day today that we've been married! And what a year it has been!
We've made it through difficult bumpy times and had some the most enjoyable life fulfilling moments throughout the year. For our anniversary we decided to go to Dinner, we ate at this great brazillian steak house it was great and so good with as many different types of meats there were to try and the salad bar, It was definitely nice to be able to take a day together and connect again on the day that we we're sealed for time and eternity.

Michael always knows how to surprise me, at first I'd wondered if someone had been in our apartment because the lamp was on when we came home from work, but with closer inspection I saw the Flowers, card, and chocolate that He had rushed home to prepare for me during his lunch break. I honestly am impressed with his surprising skills (I am usually very aware of any surprises coming) It was so sweet, I feel so lucky and blessed to have him as my eternal companion. What an amazing man! After dinner we returned home and played Video Games for a few hours together, and tried our, surprisingly still good wedding cake that had been preserved in our freezer for the past year lol.
 After the Video Games came the New Board game we had just bought and are obsessed with :) SmallWorld. we were happy to play it on our new bed that we'd gifted ourselves with, (and after a year of sleeping on a mattress on the floor) it is absolutely heavenly!

it was such a special day and couldn't have been more perfect!
Happy Anniversary To us! :)
ONE YEAR DOWN,  ETERNITY TO GO!

Big changes coming up!

We've reached another part in our lives for another big change! And we're off to a good start :) we got our jobs in order, with mike taking on a second job and me starting this new one it has been going really well so far! We've also been able to pay off our car in a third of the time we were going to its been a great start! :) Within the next week we'll be moving into our new apartment, closer to school, which we'll be starting in May :)

But until then we have a few fun things scheduled on our calender so far leading all the way to august :) but the soonest is mom Robison coming out we're excited to be able to see her! Mikes cousins wedding, and on the 17th it'll be a year that lis has lived in america again and of course st. Patrick's day :)

But for now were super excited to move into our new place :) I'll make sure we get some pictures up when we do! The move should be pretty smooth sailing from this point :)

the past 7 months..

a picture blog of things that has happened the past 7 months to catch you up :)

our wedding day! July 12th 2013

a date at rita's 

flowers mike bought me after coming home from the dmv..

And D&D dice.. :)

after grandpa's birthday just hanging around talking

a date a long time ago fun running in the rain :)

lis still had her permit then

and the epic day she got her license!!

 

OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS :)

2013 now reminds me that i need to take way more pictures!

A Little bit from our wedding :)